Setting Goals, Rewards, and Motivation for Teens

As we reach the final months of the year, motivation can decline for everyone, especially our children who have had a big school year and are ready for the holidays. Sometimes this can be frustrating and can be the cause of conflict between parents/carers, and their kids. If you are having trouble with behaviour, homework, or other motivational issues with your child, using goal setting and rewards at home can be an effective strategy to help with this.

Setting Goals:

Let your child have a say – to motivate your child, it’s important that they have a say in what their goals are.

Setting unrealistic goals, or goals that don’t align with their wishes, is not going to motivate them as much as a collaborative effort will. 

Use SMART goals - by setting objectives and creating a clear plan for how to reach the goals, it is easier to decide how to apply time and resources to make the most progress. 

Write them down/make them visible – having the goals written down somewhere visible helps to encourage working towards them. This could be on a poster in the kitchen, or in your child’s room.

Using Rewards:

Know that a reward isn’t a bribe – a reward is something that is given to your child when they make the effort to do something you’ve asked, or they have worked towards a goal. A bribe is different and will not encourage working towards goals.

Manage expectations – while your child will want to have a say in their reward, managing their expectations is important. Rewards should be reasonable, and something that you both agree on. It can be a good idea to offer small rewards along the way, rather than one big one at the end.

They don’t have to be tangible – rewards can be praise, getting to pick a movie to watch at home on movie night, choosing where the next bushwalk is, and other non-material things that your child will love. 

Other Tips for Motivation:

Ensure they are getting adequate sleep and rest – rest and sleep are so important, particularly at this time of year. Keep up a solid, healthy sleep routine, which will help energy levels and motivation.

Pivot if something isn’t working – it’s okay if a goal isn’t working, or a reward is not helping improve motivation. Trial other rewards and ways to keep up motivation, and keep your child involved in the process.

For more motivation tips, check out the Wellbeing Talk article from Term 2, Week 3.

Kimmy Murchie

Student & Family Counsellor